Alive Again
By Chelsea Derochea– December 6, 2011 7:30 AM ET
Being Diagnosed
On Wednesday 17, 2010, Johanna Desrosiers, a sexually active 19-year-old, went to Compass Medical for her annual gynecologist appointment. She had only gone once, the year before, when she first became sexually active. Everything had gone smoothly during her first appointment so she wasn’t worried for her second. The only things she really knew to be worried about were sexually transmitted diseases and since the last appointment she had only been with one person who she trusted had only been with her.
When she arrived, she was seen by her actual gynecologist, Scott Dreiker, rather than his assistant, who she was seen by the first time. After being acquainted with one another her gynecologist asked her if she knew she had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). She had never heard of this disease before. Dreiker explained to her that it was an infertility disease, and that was all she heard. “After hearing the word ‘infertility’ everything else was a blur,” said Johanna Desrosiers. “All I could think of was that my biggest dream was to become a mom one day…and with one sentence, in that moment, it felt like my gynecologist took that away from me.”
Definition & Symptoms
According to pcosupport.org, PCOS is “the most common female endocrine disorder, affecting approximately 5%-10% of all females.” It manifests differently in each woman. For Johanna Desrosiers, PCOS caused many small cysts in her ovaries (which can be sore), mestrual abnormalities/irregularity, trouble losing weight, patches of darker skin on body (like neck and armpits due to insulin resistance), and excessive androgen, which resulted in acne, which she had never had until she was 18 years old, and excessive hair growth, also known as hirsutism, (particularly down the center of her body from her face to her stomach to her pelvic region).
She explains how she is able to cope with irregular periods and sore ovaries but how it’s a different story with the hirsutism. “I honestly don’t remember what it’s like to feel like I have a soft, womanly face. I see my PCOS every single time I look in the mirror at myself because of my face,” said Johanna Desrosiers. Johanna’s eyes begin filling up while forcing out each word and finally overflow with tears streaming down her cheeks. “I shave every day and hide it because it’s disgusting. Do you know what it feels like to have to wear a pound of makeup 24/7 that you know will just make your acne worse but will even just slightly hide your razor burn? It’s my biggest secret I’ve ever kept because I feel so ashamed, so unnatural and so… gross like some monster. I can’t remember the last time I felt beautiful. I feel like I'm not even really living.”
She explains how the hirsutism symptom of her PCOS has extremely damaged her self-esteem. She also explains that while the excess hair is her biggest hardship she’s endured from PCOS on a daily basis, the possibility of being infertile crushes her even more in terms of the future. “It’s one thing to deal with the hair... You never get used to it but it’s clearly doable to live with,” said Johanna Desrosiers. “But not being able to have kids when that’s your biggest dream in life… that’s not something I think I could live with.”
Factors/Causes
According to WebMD, PCOS affects as many as 1 out of 15 women. Symptoms usually begin forming during teen years, which was the case for Johanna Desrosiers. While the symptoms are caused by the changes in hormone levels and the body not using insulin properly resulting in insulin resistance from the PCOS, the actual PCOS is caused by a couple of factors known so far.
PCOS is believed to be hereditary and can be passed down from both the mother and father's side. Johanna Desroriers never heard of anyone in her family having symptoms of PCOS or having it at all. But according to Dreiker, weight only magnifies the symptoms that much more and for Johanna Desrosiers, weight is an issue. "Yes, for sure. Weight can definitely be a factor in the symptoms of PCOS being more noticeable. With a loss of weight, the patient would be healthier and it could lead to their insulin being more on track as well as hormones," said Dreiker.
Hope
While PCOS itself is not curable, there are treatments that can control the symptoms and prevent long-term problems, such as infertility, Johanna Desrosiers' biggest fear. She had tests run on her right away, which was a fairly aggravating process but quick for the most part and was put on medications.
However, she explained that weight loss was the first sign of hope for her. She couldn't control PCOS happening to her but she could do her best at controlling the symptoms of the disease. "When I found out weight was affecting me that much, I knew I had to make a change, you know? It was a wake up call because my doctor said that becoming more healthy would normally help overweight women get pregnant if they were having problems and so it could only help me in that aspect even though I have PCOS... it was a little spec of light in a really dark time in my life for me so I decided I was going to run with it and chase that light until it was in the palm of my hands," said Johanna Desrosiers with her eyes lighting up and a huge grin spreading across her face.
Change
Ever since then, she decided she was going to be dedicated to her weight loss and getting healthy for not only herself, but her future family she was determined to have one day. When Johanna Desrosiers was first diagnosed with PCOS she weighed 272 pounds. "I started out slowly. I didn't want to do some Weight Watchers thing with my mom. I wanted to do me and do it on my own. I needed to prove to myself I could I guess," said Johanna Desrosiers. She changed her eating habits, cutting out all junk food and soda, only eating one little junk food craving once a week for a cheat day, and began to exercise.
"It was insane. I couldn't believe what damage I had done to my body," said Johanna Desrosiers. "I used to be an athlete! I played sports my entire life up until a few years ago and you would have never known. So, I was determined to find the athlete in me again." She started out by just using the elliptical, treadmill, and bikes at the gym, and then moved to laps around a soccer field and doing tennis, basketball and soccer suicides (running to each line and running back and forth until you reach the end). Then, she took some zumba, yoga and kick boxing classes. Finally, when she was down to 199 pounds, she put on a bathing suit and began to swim, something she once loved her whole life but was too afraid to do because of people staring at her fat. She dove in and didn't stop until she reached 172 pounds.
Her goal weight was to lose 80 pounds and instead she found herself losing 100 and still dropping the pounds from her now very active lifestyle. "It's become a part of me. I found the athlete in me again. But you know what's the greatest part? I look in the mirror at not just my body but my face," said Johanna Desrosiers. "And the hair is so much finer and lighter and easy to maintain and my skin is actually pretty soft again... for the first time in I can't even tell you... I feel beautiful. And I'm proud of myself." She begins to laugh with tears streaming down her glowing face. It's easy to see that she isn't the same girl who felt disgusted in herself. Her self confidence and beauty radiates and her smile illuminates the room. Her genuine happiness just beams off of her and she deserves to feel alive again.
On Wednesday 17, 2010, Johanna Desrosiers, a sexually active 19-year-old, went to Compass Medical for her annual gynecologist appointment. She had only gone once, the year before, when she first became sexually active. Everything had gone smoothly during her first appointment so she wasn’t worried for her second. The only things she really knew to be worried about were sexually transmitted diseases and since the last appointment she had only been with one person who she trusted had only been with her.
When she arrived, she was seen by her actual gynecologist, Scott Dreiker, rather than his assistant, who she was seen by the first time. After being acquainted with one another her gynecologist asked her if she knew she had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). She had never heard of this disease before. Dreiker explained to her that it was an infertility disease, and that was all she heard. “After hearing the word ‘infertility’ everything else was a blur,” said Johanna Desrosiers. “All I could think of was that my biggest dream was to become a mom one day…and with one sentence, in that moment, it felt like my gynecologist took that away from me.”
Definition & Symptoms
According to pcosupport.org, PCOS is “the most common female endocrine disorder, affecting approximately 5%-10% of all females.” It manifests differently in each woman. For Johanna Desrosiers, PCOS caused many small cysts in her ovaries (which can be sore), mestrual abnormalities/irregularity, trouble losing weight, patches of darker skin on body (like neck and armpits due to insulin resistance), and excessive androgen, which resulted in acne, which she had never had until she was 18 years old, and excessive hair growth, also known as hirsutism, (particularly down the center of her body from her face to her stomach to her pelvic region).
She explains how she is able to cope with irregular periods and sore ovaries but how it’s a different story with the hirsutism. “I honestly don’t remember what it’s like to feel like I have a soft, womanly face. I see my PCOS every single time I look in the mirror at myself because of my face,” said Johanna Desrosiers. Johanna’s eyes begin filling up while forcing out each word and finally overflow with tears streaming down her cheeks. “I shave every day and hide it because it’s disgusting. Do you know what it feels like to have to wear a pound of makeup 24/7 that you know will just make your acne worse but will even just slightly hide your razor burn? It’s my biggest secret I’ve ever kept because I feel so ashamed, so unnatural and so… gross like some monster. I can’t remember the last time I felt beautiful. I feel like I'm not even really living.”
She explains how the hirsutism symptom of her PCOS has extremely damaged her self-esteem. She also explains that while the excess hair is her biggest hardship she’s endured from PCOS on a daily basis, the possibility of being infertile crushes her even more in terms of the future. “It’s one thing to deal with the hair... You never get used to it but it’s clearly doable to live with,” said Johanna Desrosiers. “But not being able to have kids when that’s your biggest dream in life… that’s not something I think I could live with.”
Factors/Causes
According to WebMD, PCOS affects as many as 1 out of 15 women. Symptoms usually begin forming during teen years, which was the case for Johanna Desrosiers. While the symptoms are caused by the changes in hormone levels and the body not using insulin properly resulting in insulin resistance from the PCOS, the actual PCOS is caused by a couple of factors known so far.
PCOS is believed to be hereditary and can be passed down from both the mother and father's side. Johanna Desroriers never heard of anyone in her family having symptoms of PCOS or having it at all. But according to Dreiker, weight only magnifies the symptoms that much more and for Johanna Desrosiers, weight is an issue. "Yes, for sure. Weight can definitely be a factor in the symptoms of PCOS being more noticeable. With a loss of weight, the patient would be healthier and it could lead to their insulin being more on track as well as hormones," said Dreiker.
Hope
While PCOS itself is not curable, there are treatments that can control the symptoms and prevent long-term problems, such as infertility, Johanna Desrosiers' biggest fear. She had tests run on her right away, which was a fairly aggravating process but quick for the most part and was put on medications.
However, she explained that weight loss was the first sign of hope for her. She couldn't control PCOS happening to her but she could do her best at controlling the symptoms of the disease. "When I found out weight was affecting me that much, I knew I had to make a change, you know? It was a wake up call because my doctor said that becoming more healthy would normally help overweight women get pregnant if they were having problems and so it could only help me in that aspect even though I have PCOS... it was a little spec of light in a really dark time in my life for me so I decided I was going to run with it and chase that light until it was in the palm of my hands," said Johanna Desrosiers with her eyes lighting up and a huge grin spreading across her face.
Change
Ever since then, she decided she was going to be dedicated to her weight loss and getting healthy for not only herself, but her future family she was determined to have one day. When Johanna Desrosiers was first diagnosed with PCOS she weighed 272 pounds. "I started out slowly. I didn't want to do some Weight Watchers thing with my mom. I wanted to do me and do it on my own. I needed to prove to myself I could I guess," said Johanna Desrosiers. She changed her eating habits, cutting out all junk food and soda, only eating one little junk food craving once a week for a cheat day, and began to exercise.
"It was insane. I couldn't believe what damage I had done to my body," said Johanna Desrosiers. "I used to be an athlete! I played sports my entire life up until a few years ago and you would have never known. So, I was determined to find the athlete in me again." She started out by just using the elliptical, treadmill, and bikes at the gym, and then moved to laps around a soccer field and doing tennis, basketball and soccer suicides (running to each line and running back and forth until you reach the end). Then, she took some zumba, yoga and kick boxing classes. Finally, when she was down to 199 pounds, she put on a bathing suit and began to swim, something she once loved her whole life but was too afraid to do because of people staring at her fat. She dove in and didn't stop until she reached 172 pounds.
Her goal weight was to lose 80 pounds and instead she found herself losing 100 and still dropping the pounds from her now very active lifestyle. "It's become a part of me. I found the athlete in me again. But you know what's the greatest part? I look in the mirror at not just my body but my face," said Johanna Desrosiers. "And the hair is so much finer and lighter and easy to maintain and my skin is actually pretty soft again... for the first time in I can't even tell you... I feel beautiful. And I'm proud of myself." She begins to laugh with tears streaming down her glowing face. It's easy to see that she isn't the same girl who felt disgusted in herself. Her self confidence and beauty radiates and her smile illuminates the room. Her genuine happiness just beams off of her and she deserves to feel alive again.